Pin The Tail On The Fat, White, Nominee

In the wake of Gabourey Sibide’s historic nomination to the academy awards, there was substantial hand -wringing over her win and what is represented. I decided to have a little fun, and find all the white, morbidly obese, Academy Award nominees. Surely, all the folks who said she “cut a bad image for black women,” were wrong. Surely, their had to be a white nominee who cut the came profile as Sibide or, hell, Mo’Nique


So I printed out lists of all the Academy Award best actress nominees for the last 40 years. I blew it up and, careful not to look at it too closely, invited a friend over for some fun and regaling. I taped the blown up list to the wall and let the games begin.

The game, darts, but with a twist. The goal is to find out who can hit the grouping of names that has the fat white nominee. . .blindfolded. Each of use got 3 darts. If no one hit the name, the winner is the one who hits the nominee grouping by year. I was ready to go.



Larry went first. The first dart hit 1976:



1976 Faye Dunaway - Network as Diana Christensen





· Marie-Christine Barrault - Cousin, cousine as Marthe





· Talia Shire - Rocky as Adrian Pennino





· Sissy Spacek - Carrie as Carrie White



Liv Ullmann - Face to Face as Dr. Jenny Isaksson



No dice, but no worries. Two more tries. The second dart hit 2005:



2005 Reese Witherspoon – Walk the Line as June Carter





· Judi Dench – Mrs Henderson Presents as Laura Henderson





· Felicity Huffman – Transamerica as Bree





· Keira Knightley – Pride & Prejudice as Elizabeth 'Lizzie' Bennet





· Charlize Theron – North Country as Josey Aimes

Not quite. One more dart, but this time, a little to the left. THWAAP! 1989, gotta be a few here:



1989 Jessica Tandy - Driving Miss Daisy as Daisy Werthan





· Isabelle Adjani - Camille Claudel as Camille Claudel





· Pauline Collins - Shirley Valentine as Shirley Valentine-Bradshaw





· Jessica Lange - Music Box as Ann Talbot





· Michelle Pfeiffer - The Fabulous Baker Boys as Susie Diamond

DAMN, Larry, sorry about that, but hey, the Hard Lemonade should be well chilled by now.

I knew I would fare better. Blindfold wrapped tightly, I was ready to have at it. First dart:



1994 Jessica Lange - Blue Sky as Carly Marshall





· Jodie Foster - Nell as Nell Kellty





· Miranda Richardson - Tom & Viv as Vivienne Haigh-Wood





· Winona Ryder - Little Women as Jo March





· Susan Sarandon - The Client as Reggie Love



Ooo, so close. . . I think. Next throw, banner year, 1987



1987 Cher - Moonstruck as Loretta Castorini





· Glenn Close - Fatal Attraction as Alex Forrest





· Holly Hunter - Broadcast News as Jane Craig





· Sally Kirkland - Anna as Anna





· Meryl Streep - Ironweed as Helen Archer



One more try, OK. Maybe a bit lower



2000 Julia Roberts – Erin Brockovich as Erin Brockovich





· Joan Allen – The Contender as Sen. Laine Hanson





· Juliette Binoche – Chocolat as Vianne Rocher





· Ellen Burstyn – Requiem for a Dream as Sara Goldfarb





· Laura Linney – You Can Count on Me as Sammy Prescott


We’ve played this game several times, and are looking to switch up to Pin the tail on the Fat White Nominee, maybe with the supporting actress nominees. I’ve suggested these games to others, and one guy said the genius is that no one can win, and the game can never end. I’m not sure that’s true, but hey, I’m willing to be proven wrong.

And, oh yeah, our arms is getting tired